We had these neighbors at the end of our block that had two shiny black Cadillacs. It seemed that they were always washing their cars. They didn't seem to like us much (I wonder who wouldn't like a giant family of loud stinky kids?). They had pool which Frank and I dreamed of swimming in. We made all kinds of plans to sneak in and swim, but never did. I love you Black Cadillacs!
My dad was always bringing home some assortment of weird characters. Tony was one of these people. Since he had long hair we dubbed him 'Tony Hippy'. When I was a kid, if you were a dude and you had long hair you were a hippy. I think my parents hired Tony Hippy to do some odd jobs around our house. There were a few other 'hippies' we named too, Joan Hippy who ran the used bookstore, and Circles the hippy. I think he got his name from the tie-dye pants he wore.
Sometimes Tony Hippy would just show up around dinner time and my Mom would invite him to eat with us. Afterwards she'd pop a big bowl of popcorn and pour melted butter over it. Frank and I discovered if you slobbered on a kernel of popcorn it looked like one with butter on it. So we'd juice up a kernel or two and place it strategically back in the bowl and wait for Tony Hippy to take it and eat it then howl with delight at our 'hippy trap'. We are still doing this today. My kids have caught on and I have been the victim of a few hippy traps myself. Next time you eat pop corn with me, Watch out!
There was this old cement shack on the up on the hill above our home in Bisbee that Frank and I stumbled upon. We named it the Dwelling. Some hippy was living there. It was rather nicely set up for what it was with blanket for a door. But being the immature punks that we were we went in and messed things up as a prank and took off laughing about it. Nothing too terrible, just tossing a toothbrush on the floor, tipping the chair over, stupid stuff like that. I think we were about 13 or 14. I used to spy on it from our back yard with this crummy telescope I had. I was hoping to see the resident and get a payoff to the prank, but never did. If you ever got internet in your dwelling and are reading this, sorry dude!
When we lived in Rodeo New Mexico my mom bought a case of my favorite food, Bananas. I ate so many that they gave me these horrible smelling Sulfer burps that had some serious hang time. We rode the bus 30 miles each way to school and of course on the ride in I'd release a death stench and try to act innocent. The whole bus would reek. This large girl named Christina would walk up and down the aisle spraying a can of Lysol. The first time I did it Frank was sitting next to me and said, "Dan, did you fart?"
"No."
"Did you burp?"
"Yes"
"Oh man! That reeks!"
There was a kid on the bus who Frank and I called 'Hippy Frank' because he had long hair and his name was Frank. He wasn't very nice to us so we didn't like him. After I would set off one of these gas bombs Frank would blame it on Hippy Frank and Fat Christina would empty a whole can of Lysol on him. I don't know why my brother never ratted me out. I guess because I always sat next to him and he didn't want to be sprayed with the Lysol. Thank you Frank!
